Morning with Deuce

The small moments I will forget, if I don't record them.


Scene: the boys' bedroom, in the morning, while Peanut is in school. Spring is entertaining herself by alternately pulling up on the window blinds and pulling books off the shelves. Mom is tidying up: making beds, tossing a few scattered Legos and matchbox cars into the toy basket.  Deuce drops his toy plane anxiously.

Deuce: "My cars! No, mama. My cars."

Mom: "It's OK. I'm just picking up the ones you aren't playing with. You can get them from the basket."

Deuce: (retrieves a few) "Where's Doc? Where's Mater?"

Mom: (locates them in Deuce's bed, under the blankets, where they apparently spent the night.) "Here they are."

Deuce: "Mama, play Doc. Talk, Mama."

Mom: (sighs, looks hopefully forward to playing dolls with Spring) "Ok."

(Part of Doc played by Mom. Mater and generic Monster Truck played by Deuce.)

Doc: "Hi, Monster Truck."

MT: "No, I tractor."

Doc: "You're a monster truck."

MT: "NO. I TRACTOR."
.
Doc: "Ok, whatever you say."


(Monster Truck, nevertheless displaying his true identity, attempts to drive over Doc and Mater.)

Doc: "Hey! Ow! Don't drive over me!"

MT: (giggles)

Doc: "Hey Mater. So...tipped any tractors lately?"

Mater: "vrooom. vroooooooooooooooom."

Doc: "Hey, everybody. Let's go to Flo's and have something to drink."

MT and Mater: "Yeah. Wess getsome appuh juice. Tum on! Over here!"

(cars congregate at specific area on carpet and slurp noisily. The juice apparently goes to the heads of MT and Mater, who chatter high-pitched gibberish. Doc suspends animation while Mom thinks about which laundry hamper to work on today.)

Deuce: "Mama! Talk!"

Doc: "I know. Let's read a book."

Monster Truck: "Wess wead dagon book!"

Doc: "Ok. The dragon book. Let's get in the story box."

(The story box is a large cardboard box turned on its side and lined with pillows. Deuce sits inside it, and Mom manages to get her head and upper torso in. The cars insist on sitting on Mom's stomach where they can see the pictures. We get through three pages of Ignis before being interrupted.)

Mater: "Hey Doc! Wook at dat!" (Deuce points to pic of dragons dancing around a bonfire.)

Doc: "Wow. Isn't that something?"

Deuce (role indeterminate): "Wess wead Widdle Engine dat Could!"

Mom: "Ok, you get it."

(Deuce goes to bookshelf, comes back with a Thomas book instead.)

Deuce: "Here! Wess wead DIS one!"

(The cars drive all over the cover.)

Mom: "Let's open it up. Then they can ride on the track."

(The book, a pop-up, is falling apart at every seam. The cars insist on driving on the page in the worst condition of all, where Harold the helicopter once stood upright and now lies listlessly to one side, propeller askew. Deuce tries numerous times to stand him back up.)

Deuce: "He's bwoken."

Mom: "Yep. Here, let's drive the cars on the track."

(Spring enters the box now, attracted by the book, and tears a piece off the propeller, blessedly unnoticed by Deuce. Re-direction success! She then crawls bodily over the book to get to Mom's head.)

Deuce: "(Spriiiiiiiing)! No! Mama, WOOK AT (SPRING)!!!!"

(Mom removes Spring from book, lays book on floor, where cars attack it determinedly. With Deuce thus distracted, Mom escapes to laundry room, and gets almost two loads of towels folded before the shrieks begin. Deuce enters room, noisily distraught.)

Mom: "You know what? Let's watch a movie!"

(Richard Scarry saves the next 30 minutes. Mom refuses to feel guilty, finishes folding laundry, puts Spring to bed, and updates neglected blog.)

Deuce: (climbs into Mom's lap when video ends) "Want some Mommy nuk."

Mom: "What do you say?"

Deuce: "Want some Mommy nuk, pease."

(Fade out.)

(Fin.)